Shoe Shopping with Michael

Ok- for those of you who don't know Michael, he is a 60 year old, slightly mentally unstable, and a very tall man that has worked for Chimi's for 23 years.   He works 7 days a week and manages to simultaneously get everyone he knows to both love him and want to choke him at almost every moment.  Well, I have gotten into the habit of driving him home everyday from work (even though he only lives a block and a half from the restaurant), so on Monday he requested that I drive him to Payless to buy new shoes on the way home. First of all, this is NOT on the way home, Second of all, I do get paid to be at the restaurant, so I told him I would be happy to but he would have to wait until 4. Several hours of arguing later,he convinced me to take him in the middle of my work day... So off we go to the Payless on Pine and Lewis.  According to Michael we must go there because they are the only ones that carry the size 14 shoe that he requires!!
      Payless on Pine and Lewis is not the nicest shoe store in town but everyone seems to know him there and it seems relatively safe.  Unfortunately, they do not have the shoes he wants  in a size 14 but they do have them in a size 13.  He assures me that once he cuts his toenails that the size 13 will fit just fine!!! (gross, gross, gross, and more gross)  So, the shoes are bought and after a nice 30 minute conversation with the clerk we exit the store.  As we are leaving the largest black man in the biggest fur coat you have ever seen comes up to us and says in a very deep voice  "Hey, y'all want to buy some movies?".  Michael replies, very innocently "I would sir , but I don't have a projector".  At this point I am laughing like the fool that I am and the large man in the large fur coat moves along for sure thinking that we were the crazy ones.

Michael!!

      So, shoes are bought and toenails are clipped, and everyone is happy, so I think!!.  The next morning Michael says to me:"Lori,  I really appreciate you taking me to buy shoes, but I really wanted to stop at Church's Chicken. Why didn't you take me there?'  Dios Mio and Oye Vey- you just cant make everyone happy.

p.s.  I start training for my second marathon in a few weeks and I can't wait!!

Technology at its finest!!

So we all have the conversations about how technology has changed our lives, and how we can't live without facebook, words with friends, or quite simply our iPhone as a whole.  I know I am definitely in the group that has my phone in my hand most of the time.  However, this week I had a first.....I dismissed an employee via text message.  I know what you are all thinking!!  How wrong!! How could you do that!!  Everyone deserves a face to face firing!!.  Well in my defense, she asked me if she still had a job via text message, so I figured it was ok to simply say "NO" in the same manner. 
      That is not the end of the story, for the last few days this ex-employee has proceeded to continually text message my phone with tales of the unfair treatment she has received through me! No, I have not responded, no matter how much I wanted to tell her to be quiet and quit harassing me.  So, there is a lesson here. Do not! under any circumstances! allow your employees to have your cell phone number!!!!  This person got mine when I called her to say we would be closed during the snow storm!  I should of used the land line.  So while I am a HUGE fan of my iPhone, facebook, words with friends etc.....  There are definitely situations where the old way of life is simply... much easier.

There is a mattress in the parking lot!!

You know it's going to be a strange day when someone leaves a mattress in the parking lot at work.  I mean Who just leaves a mattress in someones parking lot.  It even looked relatively new.  I thought it was a sign from G-d that I need more sleep, but no one seems to agree with me.  So if anyone has lost or misplaced a mattress- it is in the dumpster at Chimi's feel free to come pick it up.  The other weird thing that happened today is my boss talked me into getting into a refrigerator at work.  While it was running-I know that is really strange, but he said it was a trust building exercise, and if I really trusted him I would get in and be quiet.  Ok so I made the "be quiet" bit up but it's still funny.  I just find it amazing that at age 36 I can be talked into climbing into a refrigerator.   Don't they have after school specials on not doing that exact thing?  I like to live on the edge.

I don't know what the rest of the day has planned for me but I do know that it has to be weird.  No one can start the day with a mattress in their parking lot and have a normal day!

My name is Lori and I throw everything away!!

There is something that you need to know about me.  It is not a a very good thing but I will spill it anyway! !  I throw everything away, I mean everything.  Put a piece of paper in my hand and within seconds it is torn into little bitty pieces and in the trash can before I even realize it.   It is this fatal flaw that got me into serious
trouble today.  If you haven't seen the weather channel let me tell you that there is a winter weather crisis in Tulsa, which is why I said yes when a nine month pregnant woman asked me to do a catering for only 6 people and only 30 minute notice.( Sometimes I'm just too nice).  So after I took the order and wrote the address and the woman's phone number on a piece of paper, I promptly tore that piece of paper into little bitty pieces and threw it directly into the trash can.   I did however remember that the address was on 16th and Cincinnati so I thought surely I could figure it out. WRONG!!!   In my defense the reason that I couldn't figure it out was that the office was on top of a huge hill that 5 cars had gotten stuck on.  I won't go into the bitter details of the story but lets just say that I ended up walking up the hill with two large boxes of food and dress shoes on.   My feet were soaking wet and I was very very unhappy. 
 Just another day in the life of a trash can alcoholic.  My name is Lori and I throw everything away!!

Sunny day after the Blizzard

Well I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I see the sun!!!  I see snow melting and I see the hope of normal life returning soon.  Therefore, I am in a much better mood then I have been in for days.  I mean days!  Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to go for a run and see how far I get.  It's been almost a week since I have run at all and I'm jonesing.   The Oklahoma blizzard of 2011 has  put a screeching halt to my marathon training. Therefore, if I don't finish the marathon in May I can simply blame it on the week of training that I lost out on. It has also put a screeching halt to my Independence as a person. For two days I have been chauffeured around by my boss.  I am not sure but I think he might be getting tired of me,( I don't know how anyone could be tired of me) but I can tell my constant complaining about the weather is wearing him down!! Not that it's going to make me stop or anything. All Right well I'm going to go stare longingly out the window at people sledding and wish it was me!!

Snow Day in Tulsa

Oklahoma is so not good with snow days!!  The town has completely shut down.  All the restaurants have been closed and I have been stuck home for two days.  I'm not saying I didn't have decent company I'm just saying that I don't do well with inactivity.  Sooo, today I decided to drive to one of the restaurants and see what the possibility of opening was.  Let's just say--we are still closed.  After driving across town easily enough  ( I am a country girl at heart and very adept at driving when I shouldn't be-or so I thought)  I pull into the restaurant parking lot and immediately get stuck!! When I say stuck--I mean really stuck-  it takes 4 guys, 30 minutes, a lost cell phone, and the accidental removal of my front bumper to get out.  I don't mind getting stuck, it brings me great memories of childhood and having 2 trucks, a tractor stuck and my dad cursing violently,  I find these memories happy and comforting. Especially my dad cursing!!  However, the accidental removal of my front bumper is an issue that definitely has to be addressed and addressed soon.  (By the way it was my boss and friend that is the one that pulled the bumper off!!  He just doesn't know his own strength!) So here I am  back at home cooking matzo ball soup ( I make a MEAN matzo ball soup) and searching for something else to do.  So I figured it would be a great idea to start this blog I have been thinking about.  Starting the blog has been a rather difficult for me because I was having a hard time deciding in what direction to go.  I originally wanted to just do a stream of consciousness, a verbal vomit if you will, a cathartic experience for me and only me, but  a good friend convinced me that too many people might get their feelings hurt. ( If you know me at all, you know that to be true).  Therefore my plan is to write about the crazy thing that happen to me in my day to day life as a restaurant manager.  Hope everyone enjoys it and feel free to make comments and correct my spelling!!